Morning, sweetheart. You sleep all right?
Not bad for an insomniac.
- You are not an insomniac. - Oh, yes, I am.
Eggs be ready in a minute. Sunny-side up, ok?
Sunny-side up is great.
I have to drive down to New Jersey today.
- New jersey? Why? - Uh, it's a business trip.
- At what time will you be back? - I may stay over.
Wait. You have to be back for supper tomorrow evening.
What's the big deal with supper tomorrow night?
- I'm cooking lamb stew. - Lamb stew. I guess I'll be there.
7:00 sharp. Promise?
Promise.
- I have to ask. - Ask away.
- Did you call the doctor? - No, I didn't call the doctor.
- Why not? - Because I stopped feeling bad.
- You feel good? - Yeah, I feel good.
Eileen, if you ever need to talk to someone...
Listen. I'm sorry I freaked you out the other day.
I was tired and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. And...
To be honest, it was that time of the month.
Ok. Understood.
There's nothing wrong with me.
Ok. Listen up, you two. I hope I didn't interrupt anything.
You're looking very cozy together. We were just chatting.
I am throwing a surprise birthday party for Michael
tomorrow night at my house,
and I need your help in getting it ready.
Eileen, you and Mary Kate will be in charge
of the birthday cake. Now, Michael only likes strawberry.
Not the dense kind. Sponge cake. Fluffy.
- Where's Tommy? - He has a meeting this morning.
Well, tell him he needs to pick up the liquor at Breen's.
Pete McGonagle's expecting him.
The girls can help me with the decorating
when they get back from school. Supper's at 7:00.
It's a surprise.
Tell Tommy not to be late. I got to go.
- I should get to work. - I'll pick up the cake.
Oh, thanks.
Ok. Later.
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you so much.
I appreciate this. Thanks so much. I'll try not to. I'll try not to.
Oh, good morning.
- Hear the news? - What?
Our beloved speaker was arrested last night...
For waving his flag at a 14-year-old boy
in the men's room at Disney World.
- You're kidding. - No. The D.A. smells publicity.
He's gonna prosecute.
So the party leadership had no other choice
but to accept the speaker's resignation.
And they've also anointed... A new speaker.
We're giving it to Don-Don, Tommy.
He has the experience. He's paid his dues.
He has our confidence and our respect.
Don-Don will make an excellent speaker.
I know you're disappointed. Be patient.
It's a milk run to Jersey.
I pick up some money. I bring it back to Freddie.
Be back tomorrow.
What's the matter with you?
You and my mother both. It's fucking New Jersey, not China.
Why can't I come?
'Cause you have to collect rents from Silent John today.
- All right? - You're getting in bed with Cath now?
No. Shh.
I called her up.
Her husband's out of town. Kids are with her ma. So...
I don't know why she gets to go and not me, Mike.
Look at her. Look at you. It's an overnight.
She thinks it's a road trip, like the old days.
- What, to New Jersey? - Better than nothing.
What about Shannon, that crazy fucking broad?
You finish with her or what?
No. It'd be nice to spend some time with a grown-up.
- When you getting back? - Tomorrow night.
For supper?
Yeah. For supper. You channeling my mother?
You're scaring me. I'll see you.
- See you. - Wha-
Bob, how we doing on the votes for the school fund?
- Uh... uh, 29... And counting. - Congratulations.
- Well deserved. - Thank you, Tommy.
I want those nailed down by the end of the week.
Mr. Speaker, I was hoping we could attend to the small matter
of the south providence community center.
Consider it done.
- 100,000? - Correct.
- We're talking about $100,000? - Yes, we are.
Funny. That's the exact same amount
that was allocated to my community center on the Hill.
I'll see you all in session.
We had to shuffle the numbers a little bit.
Bob, please, just don't...
Don't tell me you're taking my 100,000 and making it his 100,000.
The Hill has gotten plenty of pork from the leadership this year.
South Providence gets 3 times the federal aid
because it's a minority neighborhood.
Our community center is the only place our kids have got to go
after school. You withhold this money, Bob,
- I got to shut down vital programs. - I'm sorry, Tommy.
We'll take care of you next time.
Hello.
No, ma. I can't. I'm right in the middle of things.
Well, just tell the... I don't know.
Tell the mechanic to put in a new radiator.
No. Look, I just... I don't... I don't...
How about Eileen? No, no, no. I...
No. No. Hold your horses. I'll just... All right, fine. I'll be there.
The thing to remember about Michael is he can't wear synthetic materials.
He never could. Even as a kid. Especially as a kid.
Remember those terrible rashes he used to get
on his face and his butt?
Ma, just...
I'm just saying that we have to be careful
about what we buy for your brother. Have you got him a present yet?
No. I haven't exactly had a lot of time.
Well, get cracking and put some salt into it.
Mmm. Grumpy today, are we? Huh?
Michael had to go away. Business trip.
Oh, don't worry. He'll be back in time for his party.
I just don't like it when he's gone. Look at this.
Indonesia. Sri lanka.
China. India.
You know how much they pay these people?
Nothing.
- Hmm. What do you think? - Yeah, it's nice.
What's the matter with you, Tommy?
The Hill needs a guardian angel with more clout than me, Ma.
- Otherwise we're gonna vanish. - Vanish? Don't be silly.
One by one, the stores are closing. Factories are closing. Look at you.
People like your good friend, Judd Fitzgerald,
they're moving to the suburbs. A few more years of this...
And you'll all be gone.
Don't be so dramatic. We're not going anywhere.
This is where we belong.
You know, I had an uncle that lived in New Jersey.
- Uncle Chick. - Uncle Chick? - Yeah. He lived in a trailer park
down by the ocean. I think he died in jail.
My mother doesn't like to talk about him.
No! A criminal in your family. I'm shocked.
That's why I was always attracted to you.
- Do you mind? I'm not a criminal. - Oh, right.
- Right. Michael Caffee is a... - A businessman. - Businessman.
What? I own property behind your bar. I'm slowly building up capital.
Hey, I'm glad you called.
This is nice.
Wow. That's new. What's this?
It's nothing.
So, Michael, what happened to you all those years, huh?
Where were you?
I fell down a hole.
A cold, dark hole.
Well, I'm sorry.
- You horny? - Am I what?
I'm horny.
It's, uh... It's all the traveling.
Remember?
Do you?
Yeah, I can't help it. It's, um, something about highways
and, uh, fast-moving cars.
Come on. You trying to kill us? I'm driving here.
- You used to like that game. - Well, I changed when I was away.
- Grew up. - Oh, did you?
- What are you doing? - I told you. I'm horny.
I'll do it myself if I have to.
What, you just gonna sit there and play with yourself?
We're driving 195 in full view of every semi driver that goes by.
Yeah. Well, you know me, Michael.
I like to be watched.
I haven't changed.
Jesus Christ.
- Anything to that rumor about Bob? - What rumor?
- You don't know? - No.
- You haven't heard? - No. What?
Well, if you haven't heard, maybe I got it wrong.
- I don't wanna spread false rumors. - You never get it wrong, Tommy.
You sure you haven't heard?
Yeah, I'm sure. I'm the last one around here to know about anything.
Come on. Spill the beans.
Well, word is that Bob's discovered ambition.
Bob? Our Bob? Majority leader Bob?
- That's what I heard. - Ambition for what?
- The speaker's job. - No fucking way. Who told you that?
Maybe it's just the usual rumor mill.
I'll see you in the vote this afternoon.
You were always fun to take a drive with.
I'll give you that.
Taste?
Is that good? Yeah?
So, uh...
- This really isn't a vacation, is it? - What are you talking about?
I mean, you're doing some kind of job, right?
And you brought me along for company.
I told you. I got a couple of days free,
and I just knew this nice place by the shore.
It's nothing special. Just a motel. But it's...
It's nice. It's got views and everything.
Why would I lie to you?
I'm hungry.
I'm gonna get some water. You want some?
No.
- What the fuck are you doing? - Since when did you get so old?
What are you talking about?
You used to love playing Bonnie and Clyde.
Well, I told you. I changed.
Don't take unnecessary risks. No more games. I don't need 'em.
Huh? Those days are gone.
Let 'em go.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
- Ah... keep the change. - He's a gangster.
She's on medication.
Hey, Tommy.
- Have you heard the rumor? - What rumor?
Bob thinks he should've been given the speakership.
Bob? God, that's crazy.
Yeah. So you haven't heard anything, huh?
It's not like he's planning a palace coup or something, right?
Well, I heard. I didn't believe.
Yeah, he's probably just bullshitting, right?
- Probably. Yeah. - Hey, Doug, how are you?
- Still, see what you can find out. - Absolutely.
- Maybe bring him in for a tête-À-tête. - I'm on it. - Yeah? Good.
Hey. Big favor.
Run over to Breen's and pick up the booze for the party.
Eileen, I know. I know. I can't get away from work. I'm sorry.
Ok, Muriel. One pint of bushmills.
No, no, no. You know our senior citizen's policy.
No payment necessary on this one. God bless you, Pete McGonagle.
You and Michael Caffee both.
My life has taken a turn for the better
ever since you bought this store. We'll see you next week.
- Hi, Pete. - Hey.
Tommy asked me to pick up some liquor for the surprise birthday party.
Oh, yeah. I got it in back. I'll only be a sec.
Ok.
- Where's your car? - Oh, it's at the side.
I'm impressed. Who's gonna drink all that?
Not me. I fell off the wagon recently. But I'm clean and sober now.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
- So I'll see you tomorrow night? - Oh, yeah. 7:00.
Pop that trunk for me.
Thank you.
My pleasure. Are you ok, Mrs. Caffee?
Of course. I'm fine.
- And the name's Eileen. - Eileen.
- See you tomorrow night. - Ok.
Hey, Tommy.
Come here. Come here. I need your help.
Well, thank god I saw you. You got to help me.
This wall is too high. I wanna hang this banner.
I brought in a kitchen chair for you to stand on.
- And I've got some pushpins. - Ma, I've had a long day.
It'll only take a second.
Michael hasn't had a birthday party in 7 years.
All right, all right. Ok, ok.
- Are you sure it's straight? - I don't know. You tell me.
Down a little bit. Down a little bit. No. Up a bit.
Higher. No, no. down. More. There. there.
- All right, I need a hammer. - Just push it in.
Would you please just give me a hammer?
- Put a bit of muscle in it. - I need a hammer!
Keep your shirt on. Jesus.
Coming.
- Here. - Thank you.
- Watch the wall. - Yeah.
Oh, put one in the middle.
- There? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah?
I missed you.
Don't you dare.
Yeah? Yeah?
Oh, Ma, give me a break. I'm trying to lead a life here.
No. I'm sorry. Go ahead. talk. what? Huh?
No, I just went for a run, that's all. Why? What's going on?
All right. I said i'll be there at 7:00.
I'll be there at 7:00, all right
Yeah. Must be a hell of a stew you're cooking.
Oh, it was a nice drive, yeah.
Oh, it's boring here. Everything sucks. You know?
What?
No. Don't worry. Just lock the doors like I told you.
Yeah. Pour a glass of sherry. That helps.
Yeah. Sit back. Relax. Watch the TV. Take a sip.
I don't know. What time is it? Like, um...
- Taxi or Lucy or something. - Ok.
I'll be all right. I'm sorry I bothered you.
Good night.
Did you have any trouble getting the booze from Breen's?
Kids ok?
Noni asked me tonight what numbers mean?
I couldn't tell her.
Lila wants to drop out of school and be a nurse in Iraq.
- Hmm. - And Mary Rose is in love, I think.
In love?
She sits around sighing dramatically and hating me.
A sure sign.
Is my mother driving you nuts?
Yes.
Have you noticed how this family
all seems to revolve around Michael now?
The psychologist, my wife.
Tommy told me of your concern, Mr. Speaker.
I'm frankly shocked... That you could think
that I would even contemplate making a grab for your job.
I'm your majority leader. I'm your principal weapon.
My life is dedicated to making your life complete.
Politically speaking, of course.
When Tommy told me about these rumors, I thought he was joking.
Why some people would say such things is beyond me.
- So the rumors are false? - Totally.
Bob, you swear to me on your mother's soul
that you have no intention of hurting me?
- I swear. - That I could trust you with my life?
Absolutely.
Thank you, Bob. That's all I needed to hear.
Look, I'm sorry about all this.
But i'd be a fool not to listen to the wind. You know what I mean?
- Yes, sir, I do. - Good. I'll see you down on the floor.
Ah. I got 62 votes lined up for the supplemental school bill.
Excellent. Good job. Thanks, Bob.
What do you think?
I agree.
He's lying.
He's got to go. Will you help me?
As much as I'd like to help you, speaker,
I'm not sure I can.
Bob is a powerful man with a lot of friends.
If I take him on and lose, then what's the upside for me?
His job.
Majority leader of the house of representatives
of the state of Rhode Island.
You lying son of a bitch. Vacation, my ass.
I was right. I knew it. You lied to me.
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
This is supposed to be about us?
Why can't you just tell me the truth, huh?
I mean, I'd probably like it more.
It's nothing. It's just a... it's nothing.
- Take me with you. - No. I can't.
- Hey, Tommy. - Hey.
Um, I want you to know that, uh, we'll support you
for majority leader.
And we'll urge our colleagues to support you as well.
If I move up,
I want Gerald to assume chairmanship of the corporation's committee.
Thank you, Tommy.
Thank you. Thanks, Paul.
Gerald, one second.
Now, my only question to you...
My disappointment is that you didn't come and ask me yourself.
No, you come in here hiding behind Janikowski and Cavallo
who seem to think they're cowboys today.
- Why? - You're too competitive.
You'd never give me the chairmanship if you didn't have to.
You're right. I am competitive. I'm sorry, Gerald. Forgive me.
You deserve the job, and you'll do it well.
- Now, congratulations. Huh? - Thank you.
I appreciate it, Tommy. I do.
- What do you want? - I'm looking for Pravsha Pishenkov.
Freddie Cork sent me.
- You're Pravsha? - Freddie Cork sent you?
- That's right. - Come in.
You want to get Jesse James to stop pointing that fucking gun in my face?
Do not sit on the couch, please. It's new.
- Fine. I'm just here for a pick-up. - Pick-up. What pick-up?
You're not expecting someone from Freddie Cork?
Freddie cork can suck my big russian cock.
Just pray he never asks you to suck his.
- Pick up what? - Pick up money.
- $100,000. - $100,000?
100,000.
The couch.
You want me to tell Mr. Cork something? I could-
Blood on the rug.
Tell Freddie Cork... He can suck my big russian cock.
Fine. And I take it
you don't have $100,000 for him. That is correct.
Ok.
Can I go now?
May I have my gun, please?
Thank you.
Freddie. It's me. Surprised?
Fuck you, you cocksucker. This was a collection, not a pick-up.
No, I got nothing for you.
I'm lucky I got out with both my fucking balls.
I would've brought someone along.
Would've brought Pete instead of a fucking girl.
None of your fucking business. I don't need your permission.
What are you laughing at? You think this is funny?
I'm glad you find this so fucking hilarious.
Hold on. What?
Ma. Hey. No. Yeah. I'm having a good time.
7:00. I got you. I'll be there. Relax. Jesus.
Sure. Love you, too, ma.
Freddie.
What brings you down to the third circle of hell?
Tommy, I know you're very busy.
- Not at all. What is it? - I need a favor.
- Of course. Name it. - Don't fire Bob.
- He's not getting fired. - Executed then.
Don't flatter yourself, Tommy. You're no saint.
I think soon the student will be teaching the teacher.
I just wanna protect the Hill.
Oh, yeah. I know. I know. and God bless you for it.
Why?
It's personal. I'm asking you for a personal favor.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Because you didn't get the speakership?
Because I can't wait forever.
Quiet, please. Quiet.
Thank you.
May god bless this great party and the values we hold dear. Amen.
It is with considerable regret
that I announce today the resignation of Bob Meara
from the position of majority leader.
Bob, I'd just like to say it's been an honor
working with you and that, uh... That i'm sorry.
We're all sorry to see you step down.
I hope your family situation improves, huh?
All of our hearts go out to you and yours.
Bob Meara, everyone.
I would now like to turn the group's attention
to the difficult task of picking Bob's successor.
Representative Williams, I believe you have some thoughts
- on the matter. - Thank you, Mr. Speaker.
I would like to place into nomination the name of Thomas Caffee.
Thomas Caffee. Do we have a second?
We have a nomination- Thomas Caffee. Anyone else?
So the motion before the group
is whether or not to accept Thomas Caffee
as the new majority leader of the Rhode Island house of representatives.
All those in favor?
Opposed?
- Representative Silk. - Mr. Speaker.
Not that anyone cares,
but this is ward politics at its worst.
Shame on all of you.
Representative Silk's comments duly noted.
By a vote of 54 to 1,
Thomas Caffee has been elected our new majority leader.
- Take me home. - Cath. - Now, please.
Why are you so pissed at me? We've had a nice time, haven't we?
We enjoyed each other's company.
Come on. This meant a lot to me. It's meant nothing to you? Come on.
You don't get it, do you? You know what, Michael?
Maybe you're right. Maybe the past is dead.
- No. - And we should let it go.
No. Come on.
Eileen!
Oh, there you are. What's the matter? Are you sick?
No. A little tired maybe.
Well, you can't be sick for the party. That would ruin everything.
- I'll do my best to stay healthy. - Where's the cake?
- In the fridge. - Oh. Where'd you get it?
- Panna bakers. - But not as good as his father was.
But he's a damn sight better than that Damian Carr.
Their pastries taste like stale cereal.
What's this?
The cake.
That's not strawberry.
It's strawberry swirl.
Strawberry swirl is not strawberry. I said Michael likes strawberry.
- He will not like this. Oh, my god. - What?
- It's not fluffy. - It's plenty fluffy.
It's dense.
It's supposed to be like a sponge, not like a damn brick.
What have you done? I mean... oh, my god. This is terrible.
I can't believe that you would let me down like this.
You don't like the cake? Give me the fucking cake!
Mommy calling?
Hey, Ma.
If you don't stop, I'm gonna take the cell phone away.
Yeah. Of course.
How you doing? All right.
- Mommy ok? - She's fine.
She make you cream of wheat in the morning?
- No, she does not. - Does she tuck you in at night?
Listen.
You don't know what you're talking about, all right?
- You have no idea how I live. - It's true. I don't.
I used to, but not anymore.
Why are we stopping?
- I'll be 5 minutes. - What, more work?
Yeah. More work.
All right, look, you wanna know me? Here it is.
You're right. I am a criminal.
Ok?
It's not fun, not attractive.
It's really fucking ugly.
But it's what I do.
Well, now you know. You wanna go home, go home.
- No eating on the couch. - Forget the fucking couch.
Aw, shit.
Oh, shit.
- Thanks. - How did it go?
Fine.
I'm sorry.
Let's go.
Tommy. Again, congratulations.
Thank you. I just hope I don't screw it up.
You won't. That's not your style. Just a... question.
I understand $100,000
slated to go to the South Providence community center has been reassigned.
- Is that a question? - No. My question is,
where did it go?
It went to a community with a greater need. Good night.
Word is, Judd's unhappy with you.
- Is that another question? - It's a warning.
If you win every battle but no one trusts you,
you run the risk of losing everything,
because at some point when you need the help,
it won't be there.
I'm just looking after my constituents.
Give it a rest, Ma. No. Don' worry. I won't be late.
Noni, help your sister set the table. Let's use Nana's big serving plate
for the vegetables.
I think Michael's birthday is special enough for that,
don't you?
Especially now there won't be any cake,
thanks to someone I know's irrational behavior.
Girls. Girls. Forks on the left. Knives on the right.
Oh, Eileen, would you get the napkins, please?
- They're in the pantry. - Hi, ma. - Ah, there you are.
- Did you bring the mashed potatoes? - No. I forgot the mashed potatoes.
Of course I brought the mashed potatoes.
- Where you want the presents? - On the bench is fine.
Where's Tommy?
Honestly, if he's late for his brother's birthday party, I'll kill him.
- I really will. - Hi.
- Hi, Pete. - Oh, Eileen,
I think there's a can of creamed asparagus
- in the pantry. - Oh, hello, Pete.
- What an unfortunate tie. - Where?
Second shelf on the left. Got it?
Got it.
Eileen, please, please, please get Tommy to take Jimmy back.
You know how stubborn tommy is once he's made up his mind.
I know how persuasive you can be once you've made up your mind.
Creamed asparagus.
Mary Kate, watch the stew. Don't let it burn.
Oh, Mary Rose.
What did I tell you about folding the napkins neatly?
Remember? Mary Kate!
Hey. Do you need help?
Well, we're here.
Look, I shouldn't have brought you along.
I had no idea the job would... be so difficult.
I just wanted us to have a little fun together.
I'm sorry.
No. Look, here's the deal, Michael.
I should have never gone out with you in the first place.
It's inappropriate. It has no future.
You're right.
I have a husband.
Worthless though he may be.
I got 2 kids, for Christ's sake.
Don't go. Please.
You wanna go to a party?
Hey.
- How's it going? - Good.
- You all right? - Yeah.
- Tommy, you remember Cath Parry. - Yeah. It's good to see you.
- Good to see you. How are you? - Good.
So I'm guessing the whole clan's in there
- waiting to, uh, surprise me. - Yeah.
It's your birthday. Why didn't you remind me?
I could've brought you something. That's why I didn't tell you.
- She's still gorgeous, isn't she? - She sure is.
Thanks for coming.
Happy birthday.
- Oh, god. - We should, uh... We should go in
before Ma dies of suspense.
Surprise! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday.
Well, just look what the cat dragged in.
Ma. You remember Cath Parry, an old friend of mine.
How could I not? Happy birthday, Michael.
Come on in, Cath.
You think they've never seen a pretty woman before.
Sneaky devil, Ma. I had no idea.
* Happy birthday to you * * Happy birthday to you *
* Happy birthday, dear Michael * * Happy birthday to you *
Speech! Speech! * Happy birthday to you *
* You smell like a monkey * Oh, stop.